by Adam Juda on Monday, January 19, 2015
Like many taxpayers, I'm sick of hearing political pundits talk about how difficult it is for the country to save significant amounts of money. It wasn't that long ago that we were hearing about how hard it would be for the Department of Defense to shave off a few billion in spending over the course of an entire decade!
These budgetary discussions are only difficult because the folks in charge aren't contacting me for an economic consultation. Today I'll present my modest proposal to save the nation nearly a quarter of a trillion dollars over ten years.
First, let me first share a few important facts:
- According to the United States Census Bureau, there are currently just over 320 million people in the United States.
- The 2010 US census determined that roughly half of the population of the USA is male.
- Time Magazine recently reported that the average cost of a male haircut is just under $14.
- Conventional wisdom is that men get haircuts every six weeks or so.
From these facts, we can create a simple mathematical model:
(160,000,000 males * $14 per haircut * 8.6 haircuts per year * 10 years) + 15% tip = $221,536,000,000
If we could get all men to buzz their own heads (as I do), the country could save billions - and this is even before accounting for shampoo, conditioner, combs and other related savings. To save US taxpayers we must teach them to shave US taxpayers! Who knows, maybe if we can get Sinead O'Connor on board, she'd be able to convince the women of this nation to follow suit and more than double our savings.
Sure, Washington DC is not about to require that all men change their hairstyles. Fortunately, there is no need to do so. Even Kim Jong Un of North Korea knows that one need not pass a law in order to convince many citizens to reconsider their hairstyles.